This is an oldie, but a goodie, from a few years ago.  My “baby” is now 5. How did that happen?  The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy the entertainment that you find along the way, my dear fellow parents, and keep your sense of humor–it is without a doubt the most important parenting skill.

Dear Baby,
Please do not do the twisternado when I am trying to change you on a changing table in a public bathroom.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please do not try to help me change your diaper.  Really, I don’t need your “help.”
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t suddenly decide that you must start throwing any and all food/cutlery/beverages within your reach onto the floor at a restaurant, out with Grandma and Grandpa.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t stick your hand down my shirt and practically pull my breast out of my bra, in public.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t pat Grandpa’s stomach and say “baby.”
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t try washing your hands in the toilet. While I appreciate your initiative, all water is not the same.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t put your plate on your head or throw it on the floor, especially if it still has food on it.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t hide your shoes in the Tupperware cabinet.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t try to make pasta in the bathroom sink and then declare that dinner is ready and insist that we all try it–directly from the sink.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t destroy the entire house in the 3 minutes I am on a much needed “sanity call” with my best friend.
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please don’t declare that McDonald’s is your favorite place to eat, in front of Grandma!  You know we’ve only been there twice!!
Thanks,
Mommy

Dear Baby,
Please stop grabbing my face in your hands and smooshing it whenever I’m trying to talk to you about something serious!
Thanks,
Mommy

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