Dedicated to any parent who has ever traveled alone on an international flight with their children.
Dear Lord,
–Please be with me today as I travel through the gates of Hell (or as it is otherwise known—international travel alone, with little kids in tow).
–Please help me to remember the binky for the baby and her cuddly (and the extras I have stashed in case of emergency).
–Please help me to remember the phone charger, the iPad charger, the MacBook charger, the passports, a change of clothes for the baby and an extra shirt for me.
–Please make sure our reservations are not lost and that the flight leaves on time and if it’s delayed, that we still make our connecting flight.
–Please make the food they are serving on the plane is not deemed “too yucky” or “too stinky” for my picky children to ingest. And, if that is too much to ask Lord, please, please, please make the chips I have in the container of Pringles hidden in my purse miraculously multiply to an amount that is sufficient to stave off the hunger and grumpiness of my children.
–Please make the children’s ears pop with minimal whining.
–Please make sure all electronics are in working order, for the duration of the flight.
–Please make sure that no child of mine pees, poos, or throws up on themselves or anyone else during any part of the trip.
–Please help me to have the patience of a saint, the strength of 10 men, the reflexes of a ninja, the watchful eye of an eagle and protective nature of a lion guarding her cubs.
–Please make sure that my children do not fight over unbelievably stupid ridiculous stuff and if they do, please help me to hold my tongue and not yell at or throttle them in public.
–Please help me to be nice and kind to the ticket agent and to be a model of kindness and patience in front of my kids, even if something goes wrong and I am tempted to Hulk out.
–Please help my children remember not to kick the seat of the person sitting in front of them or whine when that same person puts their chair back, all of the way—well in to what my children deem “their!” personal space.
–Please make sure the bathroom on the plane is in working order for the entire flight—and that it is not deemed “too stinky” or “too scary” to use.
–Please make sure that my children do not insist on using the bathroom, because they “can’t hold it for one more second!” while the plane is climbing, landing or while the drink cart is blocking the aisle.
–Please make sure we get “the nice” customs official and make sure my children don’t insist on talking to me the whole time while I’m trying to take care of business.
–Please make sure none of my children develop a sudden and irrational fear of the escalator.
–Please make sure our luggage is not lost and that I do not lose a child while trying to pick the bags up off the luggage carousel.
–Please make sure Lord, that I do not lose a child at any point in transit today and that for some reason, at least just for today, they decide that sticking close to Mommy is the most interesting thing in the world.
Amen
