One of the ways that I have been able to function in another country, speaking another language, is by not letting myself get hung up on all of the particulars of grammar, when it comes to trying to communicate with people. I’ve gotten a little better at speaking Spanish and newcomers here are often fooled into thinking that I speak the language well–they usually have not yet met my teenage daughter, who is more than happy to set them straight about my “cringe-worthy” Spanish. LOL
I understand at least a few words from each sentence and I get the main idea of what people are saying to me and I figure that’s good enough. I just keep my fingers crossed, that the people I’m talking to have the same philosophy and that they have a “forgiving ear.” Sometimes, they do not, but most often–they do! This has allowed me to develop a “forgiving ear” myself.
The thought that I must speak the language correctly was paralyzing to me the first time we lived in Mexico, almost 20 years ago. I was an English teacher and I wanted my Spanish to be as good as my English. Shortly after, I realized that this would NEVER happen. And, that made me keep my mouth shut, which made me learn even less. The desire to do a good job at speaking the language, combined with an inability to do so, kept me from even trying. And, this is true with so many things in our lives. Fear of doing something badly can keep us from even attempting new things.
I know women who come here and are enthusiastic and diligent about learning the language. Some even take lessons everyday! They have the perseverance and determination that leads them to mastery. I’ve known other women who don’t take a single lesson and somehow, manage to function, leaving here only speaking a few sentences of the language. But, most of the women I know, know some Spanish, but are embarrassed to even try to speak it. It should also be noted that I know just as many Mexican women who know English, but are embarrassed to speak it. It seems to be a bit of an epidemic among women–to avoid trying things that we think we might not be good at. And, that’s something I’d like to try to work on.
This time, before we moved here, I was out on a walk and I had the revelation that while I usually like to do things correctly, I don’t always HAVE to. This realization has been quite freeing. I know that I could always do more and I’m sure that I’ve left a trail of (very likely laughable) grammatical errors in my wake. But, I have for the most part, understood and been understood. I’m learning the language “poco a poco” while at the same time, learning to try to be kind to myself, even IF I don’t do the best job at something and that has been “vale la pena!”
